Support for First Generation / Bicultural People
Being first generation / bicultural is a superpower, but the road to understanding your identity and feeling comfortable in it can be long.
Are you a child of immigrants or someone who emigrated to a different country after you were born? Were you raised by parents born in a different country from where you live, upholding standards, rituals and ideals very different from the people around you?
Living in a culturally different country can make you feel like an outsider, especially as a child or young adult. Many of us grew up with strict parents who wouldn’t allow us to participate in peer activities, or who expected us to spend weekends with the family instead of friends. For some of us, being the first to speak English means we were expected to translate for our families and live up to their definition of success, all while upholding social standards and making our parents proud.
Working with a culturally-competent therapist can help you examine the many aspects of your culture and identity, understand them, and emerge as your own unique person in the world.
As a first generation / bicultural person, you may experience…
Feelings of not belonging: as a bicultural person, you may feel like you don’t fully fit in anywhere. Some of us say no place is really “home.”
Cultural differences: the home where you grew up is different from your peers’ homes. Things like food, what you are allowed to do with friends, the values you are expected to uphold and your parents’ expectations of you are different.
Social exclusion: you may feel pressure to conform, “code-switch” (adjust behavior, language, clothing) between your family of origin and your peers. As the peer group becomes more important, the pressure to conform increases, as do the feelings of isolation or of disappointing parents.
Discrimination: you may be ‘othered’ by peers because of how you speak, dress, or look. People may assume things about you because of your culture, or have unrealistic expectations based on cultural stereotypes.
High expectations: you may be expected to achieve milestones like graduating from high school or college, owning a home, etc. You may feel pressure to achieve goals/succeed to justify your parents’ sacrifice in leaving their home of origin.
Difficulty interacting with the U.S. educational system: Children of immigrants, especially parents that don’t feel comfortable speaking English, often struggle in the American education system. You may be expected to help translate at parent-teacher conferences, manage your studies and complete your own college application. First generation children and young adults are often forced to advocate for themselves, often missing out on peer opportunities.
Mental health challenges: You may feel depressed or anxious, or like you are not good enough or don’t deserve what you get. Children born of immigrants tend to have higher rates of mental health challenges than their parents (1), but often grapple with parents who discredit therapy or counseling.
Source: (1) https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4478591/
We’re here to help.
Therapy with a culturally-competent clinician can help you process, understand and integrate your own story of being a bicultural, first generation person. Together, you and your therapist can explore your feelings and move toward the life you envision for yourself.
We can consider the questions: what parts of you fit in your parents’ country, and what parts fit in the United States? How are you like your parents, and not like them?
We can work to increase your comfort in your bicultural identity, highlighting strengths and grieving losses.
We can advocate for you and empower you to succeed socially, in relationships, at school and at work.
While no two experiences of biculturalism are the same, therapist Valerie Maloof , LMSW, MPhil, has experienced both being bicultural and being her family’s 1st generation living in the United States. Valerie can offer clients an empathic space to process their own experiences.
Contact us today to explore how a culturally competent therapist can help you navigate the unique challenges that come with being you.